apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
