I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just found puke in my bra..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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