you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
