i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
