If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize