what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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