ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize