There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
