the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
