Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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