So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm experimenting with sincerity
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
