You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
