so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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