explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize