It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize