The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize