Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize