Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Still dying that you shit outside
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
