Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just gift wrapped bread.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Randomize
