there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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