Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I believe in your delicious
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
