She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
