I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
