Well apparently he's into motor boating.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
