did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just pee around me
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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