something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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