she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
