I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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