Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
