Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
