did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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