worst night to have a conscience
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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