We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
