eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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