We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
