i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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