Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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