hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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