Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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