Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
