we have officially lost it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
