i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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