No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
