when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize