Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
