in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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