your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
