Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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