one two three fourrrrnication!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
