Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
