Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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