I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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