you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
