just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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