It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
