so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
