I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
