Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize