Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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