apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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