She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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