My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize