it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
