So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
