I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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