Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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