Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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