you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
