too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
