no, he came in my armpit
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
