Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
