she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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