I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize