I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i now understand why vodka
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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