I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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