Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
