I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize