eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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